His Christmas Baby: A Friends to Lovers Romance Read online

  Fucker.

  “Did you and Brady have a fight?” Merry sat at the table across from me, green eyes so like her son’s staring up at me .

  “Nope. Just a difference of opinion.” Not even that, really. We’d agreed to sleep together the old fashioned way to make a baby but that was all. There were no other promises or plans. “Probably because we’ve been in each other’s pocket so much lately .”

  Merry sighed and nodded, but those keen eyes missed nothing and I felt grateful she kept her thoughts to herself. “I suppose you’ll be relieved for him to get back on tour .”

  “It’s what Brady wants.” And I wanted Brady to have what he wanted. What would make him happy and I now knew that was tennis. Only tennis .

  “It’s all he knows .”

  I nodded my agreement because that much was true. Brady had been doing this all of his adult life, but he’d been playing tennis since he was about ten or eleven. But he also thrived in that environment and he had no plans to change it. In short, Brady was exactly where he wanted to be in his life. “All done,” I said proudly, standing to stretch stiff muscles. “I’m going to soak in a bath for a while. Just yell if you need me.” I grabbed a bottle of Perrier and made a quick getaway from the two most inquisitive women on the planet, pretty sure I heard Merry call me a coward as I climbed the staircase .

  It didn’t bother me because I knew I wasn’t a coward. I was a woman of my word .

  * * *

  A fter a loud and boisterous dinner, everyone collapsed into the large living room as plates of cookies were passed around, and warm drinks shared by the fire. I felt tired and not at all in the Christmas mood, and it was all Brady’s fault. Why couldn’t he have just given me his sperm like a normal human being? More importantly, why did I agree to this ridiculous scheme? The sex though, was hotter than any I’ve ever had and would probably be keeping this single working mother company on many cold, lonely nights .

  The truth is I could only blame Brady for having the dumb idea. There was no way either of us, certainly not me, could have expected a few romps in the sack would cause me to fall in love with the man I’d known all my life. How on earth could I have seen that coming ?

  I should have at least considered it .

  “Okay everyone it’s getting late and the kiddies need to sleep so, let’s do Christmas Eve gifts!” Mom and Merry stood at the same time and I shook my head. Sometimes I thought they were separated at birth because they were so similar .

  The kids erupted into screams and laughs, standing as one six-legged entity and running to the lit tree. Each kid picked up every gift at least three times before settling on their chosen gifts. I didn’t move from my spot in the chair by the fire, perfectly content to remain in the background until I could go to bed .

  Watching the little ones open up their one designated gift with such excitement, such a sense of wonder, caused a tornado of emotions to twist in my gut. This time next year I would have my own baby. I would likely be knee deep in diapers, laundry and insomnia. But I would also have a family of my own. They each grinned as they ripped the paper off and squealed with delight at their toys. Merry opened a gorgeous turquoise necklace while mom had chosen the bright red e-reader I’d gotten her so she could read her bodice rippers without the world knowing .

  “Sylvie, here is one for you .”

  I accepted the gift with a wink. “Thank you, Miranda .”

  The well wrapped gift had thrown me off, but the minute I spotted the monogrammed business card holder I knew who it was from. “Thanks, Brady .”

  “You’re welcome.” The smile he flashed my way heated my skin, but the twinkle in his eyes reminded me of my best friend. Not the father of my baby and not the man who now owned my heart .

  He held a box I’d wrapped myself and grinned wide at his gift. “I don’t know where you even found this thing, but I approve.” Brady’s smile was wide as he unboxed the vibrating neck massager with built-in headphones .

  “I figured it might come in handy on those long flights.” My voice was light and carefree, at least to my own ears, and my smile was set at six. The one I used for clients was perfect for any occasion, which is why it was my go to smile .

  “Thanks, Syl .”

  “No problem.” I smiled again but this time it was aimed at the fire crackling in the hearth. Several long minutes passed before Lori and Kendra finally stood up to corral their children. That was my cue too. “I guess I’ll head on up too. Happy Christmas Eve, everyone .”

  Exhausted, I climbed the stairs and fell asleep before my head hit the pillow .

  Brady

  W aking up alone on Christmas was not my idea of a good time, but I wasn’t all that surprised by it either. My uncharacteristic behavior yesterday had obviously pissed off Sylvie because she hadn’t exploded at me. Usually she just called me on my bullshit and forced us to hash out our differences, but yesterday she hadn’t sought me out once. She’d even maneuvered it so we weren’t seated together at dinner and she’d given me her professional fucking smile during the gift exchange .

  She was pretty pissed and no amount of charm would dig me out of this. Especially considering our discussion last night. No, calling it a discussion would indicate some sort of dialogue exchange, and that hadn’t happened .

  At all .

  Instead, I’d crept up the stairs and slipped into the room because Sylvie and I needed to talk and I knew she’d been feigning exhaustion just to get away from me. I’d been sure of it and stormed into the room, full of piss and vinegar, and ready to fight like we always did .

  Only Sylvie turned sleepy blue eyes up at me and groaned .

  “Syl, we need to talk .”

  “No, we don’t.” She turned away from me and pulled the blankets up until they covered her wild red locks .

  Because I’m a smartass, I pulled the covers down and forced her to face me. “Yes. I think we do .”

  She sucked in a long, deep breath that had my gaze sliding down to those perfect breasts covered, unfortunately, by a flannel shirt. “I know what you’re going to say Brady and I really didn’t need you to wake me up to tell me what I already know .”

  “Wow, that’s some trick since I don’t even know.” I sat back on the bed, looking as cocky as I felt .

  “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. I see that now. It was wrong and selfish and I definitely should not have agreed to sleep with you, despite how great it was .”

  “Damn great,” I grinned but she didn’t return the grin and that was the first time I’d felt real unease with her .

  “It was a mistake, and falling in love with you was a bigger mistake. But don’t worry because I’m not going to ask you to stay and be a part of this baby’s life. I’ll confirm the pregnancy and then we can handle the practicalities. Now, good night!” She made a big show of turning her back to me and covering every inch of her body in the heavy blankets that covered the large bed .

  I don’t know how long I sat with my back pressed against the headboard, possibly hours, while Sylvie’s words replayed over and over in my head. Falling in love with you was a bigger mistake. It gutted me that she thought falling in love with me was a mistake, but considering how I reacted to news I should have been expecting, what could I expect her to say? Hearing that Sylvie, the best woman I know, was in love with me made me feel like the man .

  Women had said those words to me before, usually to get me to do something I wasn’t inclined to do. “I love you and I can’t be away from you, take me on tour with you.” Usually it was something like that, a desperate attempt by a woman who knew her time was up. It never worked and arrogant ass that I was, assumed I was impervious to the power that word could wield. I was wrong, and that was a hell of a way to find out .

  The morning passed in a blur once I came down to join everyone in opening up gifts. Sylvie had stayed in the kitchen for most of it, helping get breakfast ready so the moms didn’t miss out on the gift opening. I wanted t
o join her, but a quick look in the kitchen told me she wouldn’t want me around .

  Which hurt more than I wanted to admit. Sylvie always wanted me around. She always greeted me with a bright smile that never left any doubt that she was happy to see me. She always leaned into my hugs, squeezing like she’d really missed me. Her big blue eyes always sparkled with interest when I spoke. Yeah, there was something about her that made me feel like the coolest, most interesting man in any room .

  Shit. I don’t know what all that meant, but I knew it meant something .

  Possibly something huge .

  And I had a limited time to figure it out .

  * * *

  “I t’s so beautiful out here.” Sylvie turned her face towards the star sprinkled sky, the moon shining down to highlight her smooth creamy skin and a few winter freckles from our time outdoors. “This is a great place .”

  “It is.” The first time we’ve talked since last night and it was fucking small talk. “You can come here anytime you want .”

  “Thanks but I don’t think I’ll have much time for weekend getaways anytime soon .”

  Right. “The offer stands.” This stilted conversation felt like what I imagined torture must be like. It was awkward and unfamiliar. Sylvie was distant and I was second guessing every word. “This sucks .”

  “What does ?”

  “This! I hate that it feels so awkward between us now.” I stopped in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders. “Sylvie I can’t lose you .”

  Her smile softened but I didn’t miss the sadness shining in her blue eyes. “You won’t lose me, Brady. You couldn’t if you tried. It’s my own fault, anyway .”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I couldn’t say why, but I was damned offended .

  She sighed. “It means that I know you, Brady. Better than most people and I know that you love your life the way it is, and I’m happy for you. But you’re not ready to leave the tour and I would never ask you to .”

  “And you think I wouldn’t offer ?”

  “I know you wouldn’t be happy if you stayed. I know all that and I still did it,” she laughed but there was no humor in it. “Anyway it’s awkward now because it’s still new, but it won’t be .”

  “Just like that you’re not in love with me anymore?” This was why I didn’t do love. There were so many rules, landmines to navigate. “That’s some kind of love , Sylvie !”

  She took a step backwards and instantly I felt the distance between us grow. “I guess it’s a good thing we’re going back to being friends then.” With a sad shake of her head she turned and walked away .

  I watched her walk away for several long seconds, admiring the curve of her ass and the shape of her legs as she stomped through the snow. Then I set off after her. “Sylvie, wait. Come on. Please.” I hid my smile when she stopped, but she didn’t turn .

  “What do you want, Brady? Do you want to question if I’m actually trying to have a baby too?” Her shoulders slumped forward in defeat and I felt like a jackass .

  “No! Shit, I’m sorry Syl. I’m just confused, that’s all .”

  “Well you know what, Brady? So am I! You’re not the only one around here who’s confused, shit! You think I woke up and realized that I’m in love with my best friend, the guy I’ve known all my life and what, it was easy? That I didn’t have any problems or questions ?”

  “You never said anything .”

  “You never gave me a chance. I told you I might be pregnant and you went all silent and ignored me for twenty-four hours. That made things pretty damn clear, Brady .”

  “I can’t be what you want, Sylvie.” That much was abundantly clear. I didn’t even have a clue about anything .

  “Oh this should be good,” she folded her arms and scoffed. Her words dripped with bitterness. “Tell me what I want you to be. Please .”

  That tone should have set off warning bells, but if they sounded, I sure as hell didn’t hear them. “You want me to be around, which isn’t too much to ask. You want me to be a guy I’m not sure I know how to be .”

  “Impressive. You got all that from, what, exactly?” Arms crossed, impatience radiated off her the same way her anger did. “What an arrogant jerk you are, Brady Houston !”

  She pushed at my chest and I grabbed at her chest. “I wish I could be that guy, Syl. If I could be him for anyone, it would be you .”

  “I never asked you to be anyone but you, Brady! Jesus, just stop it! Stop looking for excuses to get out of this. You want out, say it !”

  Was that what I was doing? Making up excuses until she agreed that I wasn’t the right man for her and let me off the hook? I’d never behaved so callous in my life and never towards Sylvie. Not ever. So what’s my fucking problem, then ?

  “Right. Merry Christmas, Brady .”

  Sylvie

  O ne of the best things about being in Los Angeles over the holidays was that the city was dead. Well, as dead as it ever was. And businesses were happy to jump to do your bidding because let’s face it, this was a bad time of year to be a small business. I arrived back in the city just before noon and by the time everything wrapped up for the day, I had movers scheduled to come in three days to haul my belongings to my new home. I made a few business calls on Brady’s behalf, even calling that snake Rask to check on him and get his advice. Actually, calling him a snake wasn’t right or fair. He was a bit of a chauvinist but the man had been nothing but helpful to me in steering Brady’s career. I’d gotten so much done and I’d hardly thought about the man I’d left sleeping in up in Tahoe .

  Hardly.

  Only every other minute or so .

  But I brushed the sadness aside, the longing and the ache. I used it all to plow through my never ending list of things to do, including packing up my office and severing the last of my ties with my old firm. That had taken less than an hour and since it was the end of the year, I’d gotten everything owed to me in one big check. That should have made me smile, but it didn’t. All it did was make me want to call Brady to brag. But it felt too weird. Too soon after…everything .

  And because he hadn’t called. Or texted. Or come after me. Not that I wanted him to, but I really had expected him to .

  But, he hadn’t and I needed to be okay with that. And I was. Mostly. At least until the twenty-ninth rolled around and I found myself sitting inside an empty waiting room waiting to find out whether or not a baby was growing inside of me. It was a relief, actually, to have the lobby to myself. The last thing I wanted to see right now, was a bunch of happy couples eagerly expecting another addition to their family. That would never be me. Despite Brady’s initial promise, he wouldn’t be around for our baby, and I had nine months—give or take—to be okay with that .

  Yet forty minutes later I put my clothes back on and left the medical center on wooden legs, the life changing news I’d expected confirmed. I was carrying my best friend’s baby. I had been carrying it for six weeks .

  It should be one of the happiest moments of my life, confirmation that I’d made a child with someone I loved deeply. I should be celebrating. Laughing and happy that my future was shaping up the way I wanted it to. So I would celebrate .

  On my way home, I stopped for a double cheese and sausage pizza, spicy buffalo strips and a spinach salad because the baby needed vegetables. The baby. I smiled as I made my way to my condo, packed and ready for the movers tomorrow. The more I thought about the baby, the more it began to feel real. And I began to feel excited .

  Tonight, I would celebrate my life, old and new. I would say goodbye to my life in the city and celebrate the life growing inside of me. And I would not mourn the parts of my life still left incomplete .

  I sang along to Adele between bites of pizza and spicy chicken bites, shedding not one single tear as I bid farewell to one chapter of my life. The upcoming year would be different. Better .

  It had to be .

  I would make sure of it .

  The phone r
ang and my heart caught at the familiar ringtone. “Hello?” My voice sounded shaky but I hoped I was just projecting .

  “Syl, it’s me .”

  “Hey Brady, what’s up?” If he wanted to be nonchalant I could do that too .

  “You’re sending me to Greece? That eager to get rid of me?” He sounded hurt and I hated that. This was the part we should have thought about, should have anticipated. Hurt feelings and unspoken words lingered. Would they linger forever ?

  “No. You agreed to do the yacht deal and it’s just a three day shoot .”

  “I know,” he sighed. “But Greece is so far away, Syl. Too far away right now .”

  “Australia is even farther,” I reminded him of where he would normally be right now. “What’s the problem ?”

  “We need to talk Sylvie. You just disappeared while I was asleep and I gave you a few days. Still, nothing. You didn’t call. Do you hate me now? Did I ruin everything ?”

  “No, Brady. Absolutely not. I ran away, yes, but only because I have a lot of things I need to figure out now that the holiday is over. And your career is one of them .”

  “Fuck my career, Syl .”

  Yeah, right. “You love your career, Brady. I know that and I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure you can play as long as you want, and that you don’t ever have to work again when you’re tired of it .”

  He was silent so long I thought maybe the call dropped. “You’re incredible, Syl .”

  I knew he meant it and I should feel touched by it, but right now that compliment just made me feel…raw. “That’s me, incredible Syl. Go to Greece, Brady. I sent you all the travel details and I went over everything myself so it’ll be just how you like it.” Shit, I probably needed to hire an assistant .

  “See you real soon, sweet Sylvie .”

  The call ended and I stared at his laughing face on my screen for a pathetic amount of time before turning it face down. Soon. I promised myself that things would be back to normal between us very soon .